I wanna write about something personal. You may ask, if it is personal, why you wanna write about it. Well, it is because it happened in the past. I was contemplating about doing this, because I am a reserve person in general. After thinking for some time, I thought, “Who cares?”
I wrote about my shyness in a previous entry . Other than shyness, I also have other ‘issues’ which troubled me last time.
I had really severe pimples since I was Primary 3. I was not affected by this at that time, since at that age you do not really care about how you look, right? My mom brought me to a skin specialist, asking her “Why my daughter has such bad pimples? She has not even reach puberty yet.” I forgot what was his answer.
Well, pimples started to affect me when I was about primary 5. This is the time when you cares about how you look. It did not help when a friend told me my face look like a pizza. 
She is a nice girl, btw, just not tactful. I also asked my parents about this.
Me : Why do I have pimples? Do you guys have so much pimples last time?
Dad : I did. It was quite bad. I wash with Dettol
Dettol???! I know it is antiseptic, but I am not buying into that. I used numerous products. Do not use OXY! It made my pimples look like chicken pox. I remembered once, while in tuition, I keep looking down, hoping that no one will notice my “chicken pox” . Ok lah, I guess it is unfair for me to trash OXY like that, according to a beautician, the effect of products just varies among individual. What did not work for me may work for you.
That was why I do not like to sweat. Sweat cause pimples. Its hot in Msia, so it was hard not to sweat.
It also affected me in other way. I used to play tenis competitively. But as I just started training, I did not pursue it. It made my pimples worse. I also went to swimming lessons and stopped because it aggravate my pimples. I also dislike taking public buses because I’ll sweat. I still do not like to sweat, unless if I can clean myself up immediately.
Since this time is a crucial time to develop self confidence and also some of your personality, that was certainly not a positive situation. I had very low self confidence regarding how I look. I thought that among the students in school, I am one of the people who had the worst acne condition. Looking back, I think this is true. I did have some suitors when I was in school. And when that happened, I used to think, “Hmm.. that guy must be blind. I do not understand why he like me“.
Now its better. Pimples is no more an issue to me. Of course, the scars (visually) are there. But its okay, the existence of foundation helps! 
I am aware that there are more serious issues out there, cancer etc that my circumstance was trivial relatively. But, that was how I feel when I was younger.
My pimples history also shaped my opinion about plastic surgery, makeup etc. Some people may say, s/he look better because of plastic surgery lah, not his/her true self also. Hmm.. I wonder what exactly is true self? Its is just how we look physically. So if they feel better about themselves by doing so, who cares?
Then some people may say inner beauty is more important. Well, that may be true, but humans are wired to like beautiful things. It is a subconscious thing. There was also a research which proved that better looking persons succeed more in job interviews. Most of the actress or actors are good looking rite? That is generally how they become popular. If you are not-so good looking but good at acting and you want to be in actor/actress in Korea, Japan, its impossible!
But there is also good news. When you like a person or the person is nice, you will feel that the person gets better looking as time pass! At least, this is my personal experience.
Btw, I am still shy, in my opinion. I enjoy every moment of working towards a not-so-shy person. Thank you to Ernesto Belmont for his comment. It meant a lot to me.
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